Musings That Stick to the Roof of Your Mind

Disclaimer... these are NOT my musings.  This is one of those viral emails that gets passed around.  I had never seen it before.  It made me nod my head.  It made me smile.  And a few made me literally laugh out loud in humor-filled agreement.  I just felt the absolute need to share with as many people as possible, yet without spamming the world.   Anything below in yellow and bolded/italicized are my personal comments on the list my sister sent to me.  So here you go... musings that stick to the roof of your mind:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history when you die.  But only after emailing everyone in your contact list that I have passed... I worry about those friends I only know online never knowing what happened to me...
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're dead wrong.
3. I totally regret all those times I didn't want to take a nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm character on the keyboard..
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  I actually know... but I can see the perplexity (perplexity?) of this. 
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they reported how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BluRay? I sure don't want to have to restart my collection...again...for the fifth (or sixth?) time!
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save the changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate it when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I'll know not to answer when they call.
18. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.  No kidding!  I am amazed at some things I "discover" in older movies!
19. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
21. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
22. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars close up to prevent some jerk from cutting in. - Stay strong, brothers and sisters!  Personally, I especially love when an 18-wheeler truck gets involved in the blocking!  Talk about a powerful ally!
23. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
24. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.   (Or read a page in a book three consecutive times and still not know what it said.)
25. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'll bet everyone can find and whack the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1½ seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!  Ah.... so true, so true!
26. My check the oil light has been on for three months now and nothing's happened. I'm starting to think that my car is just an attention whore.
27. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the match?
28. Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness.  Scary, but I do actually do this!
29. My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."
30. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
31. My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.  Seriously, wouldn't this be awesome? 
32. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?  Can you imagine this?
33. I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, "Excuse me, would you like me to show you how to discipline your child?"
34. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium afterwords?
35. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.

 Got any you'd like to add?