Thanks you all for your comments yesterday. So many of you pointed out my honesty and I wanted to also thank those of you who mentioned it, as this means you have forgiven me for my April Fools prank. Your forgiveness - and sense of humor - is greatly valued.
And to continue on in my "honesty"... bear with me as I circle back to this topic.
As I have previously briefly mentioned, and as you can view on my foibles page, I am on a weight loss & better health journey. I have no desire to be "skinny" or to fit into a certain societally 'approved' size of clothing. But I do have the desire to be strong, and to be able to walk long distances without feeling like I am breathless or dying... and to not carry a body mass index (BMI) higher than "overweight", which would be a vast reduction from "morbidly obese" where I am at now.
Allow me to digress... "morbidly obese" is such a nasty term. I know I carry way too much weight for my 5'1" frame, but I'm also very healthy for being at such a high weight. Tell me... how can telling me that I'm "morbidly" overweight be seen in any positive light? I mean, really... doesn't that make you just want to give up and lie down in a grave right now?
Okay, sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. Anyway... my official current journey (as I have been on many) began last year in June. I was so excited with my first few months results from the choices I made and then life "hit" and things slowed down. I'm now progressing at a slower-than-a-snail-in-winter's pace. I have recently begun to focus again, and have a goal for my birthday in May. Let me share with you some of my new(er) changes:
- Refocus on clean eating whenever possible
- No grains or starches after 2pm, preferably after lunch
- No cakes, cookies or brownies (although I did have a piece of my dad's cake when I was home in NY... but only one!) - this was a Lent thing, and a challenge with a friend (who gave up coffee and chocolate), but I'm hoping to take it on as far as I can go with it.
- If I must have a sweet, eat fruit or dark chocolate (70% cocoa or higher) and not after supper
- Eat more beans, which in fact have become a side dish instead of grains or potatoes in the evening - I just had some very tasty seasoned sauteed chick peas
- I have also been attempting to add a day of walking (30-60 minutes) into my week, but since my treadmill is not functioning right now, and the weather has been mostly rain (as in flash-flood downpours with some hail) this hasn't been going very well
- First, in getting ready to post this (in the hopes of rounding up some encouragement from all of you kind cyber friends), I updated my fitness foibles page with my stats from the beginning of this journey. I was re-excited by the beginning and very dejected and angry at the recent updates. I feel like I have been wasting more time, and money, and this often causes me to spiral out of control. So I'm struggling to NOT let this happen this time.
- The bratty, selfish inner-child is constantly battling my logical inner-adult. "I want, I want, I want!" battles with the "You shouldn't", "not now" and "wait for your weekly cheat meal". I am sad and slightly embarrassed to say that this inner-child wins way more than she should, and that is not healthy for ME. I don't seem to know how to win the wars against her.
- The rule of "no grains/starches after lunch" is challenging because it seems to be all I focus on. Even though I'm not hungry I want that pretzel or whatever in the afternoon. Or the starches at night, which I know are a silly way to keep from going to sleep when I should go to sleep. I think this ties in to the inner-child above. I'm telling myself I can't have something and that inner-child is freaking and battling that decision.
- Sleep. I know how important sleep is to both health and weight loss and yet, I find myself staying up at night way too late for appropriate sleep to occur. It's another stubborn streak in me... I tell myself, "go to bed" and still stay awake surfing the internet, watching TV (repeats!) or some other non-productive happening.