First, let me thank everyone who read my post from yesterday and those that commented with hugs and love. I appreciate your reaching out to me.
The post does appear to be quite negative. I didn't intend it to be negative... it was just a kind-of "writing out loud"... so many things in your every day world are "so hard". So many of the things I wrote yesterday directly pertained to me over my lifetime, not just in that day or week or month. Some of the things are observances of others' lives and what I see someone I care about going through, in their own "so hard" way.
Every day has its ups and downs. Every day can be so hard, and yet every day has its rewards and happiness.
I think what I wanted to get out of my own head was all of those "so hard" things... but at the end of the day... while lying in bed and reflecting, you can just take a deep breath and know in your heart that you survived. You prevailed. You won! Because you got through all of those "so hard" things. There may be more that will be waiting for you in the morning, but if you can really recognize that you got through the previous day's challenges, maybe facing the new day's "so hard" tasks and confrontations... well, maybe it will make them a little be easier to approach.
Because really? It will only make you stronger. It will only make you more who you are.
All of those "so hards" make you SO AWESOME!
Have a wonderful day (or night), all my lovely, lovely readers.
July 28, 2011
July 27, 2011
It’s So Hard…
It’s so hard to know what to do, when to do it and how.
It’s so hard to take care of yourself so that you’re “there for others” when others seem to need your care more than you do.
It’s so hard to do what you want to do when all the things that need to be done are still hanging around.
It’s so hard to reach out for your dreams when you’re not quite sure what they are.
It’s so hard to walk the walk and talk the talk, following your inner Truth, when everyone… and I mean everyone… seems intent on telling you their Truth, indicating that yours is just wrong.
It’s so hard to continue to believe in your own Truth the noises cast doubt so loudly, even if it’s still quietly speaking to you, and telling you the Truth.
It’s so hard to relax and “let go” when after you do, someone is there to remind you of all the responsibilities you’ve been neglecting.
It’s so hard to continue to say “no” when it isn’t listened to.
It’s so hard to follow your head because it’s the logical and best option when inside of you, your softie heart is tearing in two wanting something completely opposite.
It’s so hard to be the strong one when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and let someone else take care of it... and you.
It’s so hard to stop playing and start working.
It's so hard to even breathe, let alone "live" when someone you love dies.
It’s so hard to lose weight when it’s a million times easier to gain it.
It’s so hard to stop caring, even after it’s apparent that she/he/they have stopped caring.
It’s so hard to do what you need to do for you, when you know it will let someone else down.
It’s so hard to be the one to take away the safety net just because that person needs to learn the hard lesson of how it feels when you hit the bottom.
It’s so hard to see that the “bottom” that was hit, wasn’t actually the true bottom.
It’s so hard not to envy; it’s even harder when you do envy.
It’s so hard to look back and See with 20/20 vision.
It’s so hard to keep your chin up, keep smilin’ and Be Happy.
It's so hard to pick and choose between necessities, just because you can't afford them all.
It's so hard to get your hand slapped away when all you were doing was reaching out to help.
It's so hard to quit creating and go to bed at a reasonable time, especially when the kids are still "up and playing".
It's so hard ...
... and yet each and every one of us walks through the "so hards" every day and come out on the other side.
That makes us pretty darn strong. Don'cha think?
It’s so hard to take care of yourself so that you’re “there for others” when others seem to need your care more than you do.
It’s so hard to do what you want to do when all the things that need to be done are still hanging around.
It’s so hard to reach out for your dreams when you’re not quite sure what they are.
It’s so hard to walk the walk and talk the talk, following your inner Truth, when everyone… and I mean everyone… seems intent on telling you their Truth, indicating that yours is just wrong.
It’s so hard to continue to believe in your own Truth the noises cast doubt so loudly, even if it’s still quietly speaking to you, and telling you the Truth.
It’s so hard to relax and “let go” when after you do, someone is there to remind you of all the responsibilities you’ve been neglecting.
It’s so hard to continue to say “no” when it isn’t listened to.
It’s so hard to follow your head because it’s the logical and best option when inside of you, your softie heart is tearing in two wanting something completely opposite.
It’s so hard to be the strong one when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and let someone else take care of it... and you.
It’s so hard to stop playing and start working.
It's so hard to even breathe, let alone "live" when someone you love dies.
It’s so hard to lose weight when it’s a million times easier to gain it.
It’s so hard to stop caring, even after it’s apparent that she/he/they have stopped caring.
It’s so hard to do what you need to do for you, when you know it will let someone else down.
It’s so hard to be the one to take away the safety net just because that person needs to learn the hard lesson of how it feels when you hit the bottom.
It’s so hard to see that the “bottom” that was hit, wasn’t actually the true bottom.
It’s so hard not to envy; it’s even harder when you do envy.
It’s so hard to look back and See with 20/20 vision.
It’s so hard to keep your chin up, keep smilin’ and Be Happy.
It's so hard to pick and choose between necessities, just because you can't afford them all.
It's so hard to get your hand slapped away when all you were doing was reaching out to help.
It's so hard to quit creating and go to bed at a reasonable time, especially when the kids are still "up and playing".
It's so hard ...
... and yet each and every one of us walks through the "so hards" every day and come out on the other side.
That makes us pretty darn strong. Don'cha think?
July 21, 2011
Do You Know What Time It Is?
Had I still been working at the scrapbook store, July would have slapped me in the face and said, "Guess what is right around the corner...closer than you want it to be...closer than you think it is?" But I'm not at the store so it kind of was a quieter realization, sneaking up on me like my cat does when she wants to attack a toy mouse...
...crouched close to the floor
...creeping forward slowly
...ears laid back against her head
...furry derrierre up in the air wiggling
And then...
then...
There's the POUNCE!
And this is what happened.
Here it is:
Christmas is coming.
What does that mean? It means that had I still been working at the store, I would have already designed Christmas cards for a Christmas Cards in July class. I would have pulled additional product for more of my own-style cards for the holiday season. That would lead to planning. I would realize that anything I want to make - handmade - for friends and family this year best get decided upon and started toot-sweet! Planning would take place around how many scrapbook retreats I would have between "now" and "then".
But I'm not at the store. And I didn't make Christmas Cards in July (yet). But I did realize that Christmas is merely five months away as of next Monday.
Yes, that's right. Five... 5... months. Only. From next Monday.
It's time to get my Holiday on!
...crouched close to the floor
...creeping forward slowly
...ears laid back against her head
...furry derrierre up in the air wiggling
And then...
then...
There's the POUNCE!
And this is what happened.
Here it is:
Christmas is coming.
What does that mean? It means that had I still been working at the store, I would have already designed Christmas cards for a Christmas Cards in July class. I would have pulled additional product for more of my own-style cards for the holiday season. That would lead to planning. I would realize that anything I want to make - handmade - for friends and family this year best get decided upon and started toot-sweet! Planning would take place around how many scrapbook retreats I would have between "now" and "then".
But I'm not at the store. And I didn't make Christmas Cards in July (yet). But I did realize that Christmas is merely five months away as of next Monday.
Yes, that's right. Five... 5... months. Only. From next Monday.
It's time to get my Holiday on!
July 13, 2011
The Lost Week!
My, my, my... how time flies.
Just wanted to say hi to all of you lovelies out there. My silence is not because I have nothing to say. (Me? Nothing to say? Never!) Nor is it because I have gotten "lost" in my renovated scrapbook room. Well, I have a teensy bit, but not enough to justify all these days of non-story-telling. And my silence is not because I'm depressed (really, I'm not this time), or going through any crazy life "thing" (even though I am, sort-of).
It could be because I have had a lovely, lovely, lovely visitor in my home since this past Monday. It could be because it is Thirty-One Gifts' National Conference this week and while I am NOT a consultant, nor in any way employed by Thirty-One (although The Hubs is), I am the stepdaughter of a consultant who just so happens to also be my lovely, lovely, lovely visitor. So, I have been spending mucho time with my stepmom, immersed in Thirty-One Gifts events and happenings.
I will drive her half-way back home this Sunday. Perhaps after that I will be back en force.
After all, we've got a lot of catching up to do!
Thirty-One Gifts Flowers |
My, my, my... how time flies.
Just wanted to say hi to all of you lovelies out there. My silence is not because I have nothing to say. (Me? Nothing to say? Never!) Nor is it because I have gotten "lost" in my renovated scrapbook room. Well, I have a teensy bit, but not enough to justify all these days of non-story-telling. And my silence is not because I'm depressed (really, I'm not this time), or going through any crazy life "thing" (even though I am, sort-of).
It could be because I have had a lovely, lovely, lovely visitor in my home since this past Monday. It could be because it is Thirty-One Gifts' National Conference this week and while I am NOT a consultant, nor in any way employed by Thirty-One (although The Hubs is), I am the stepdaughter of a consultant who just so happens to also be my lovely, lovely, lovely visitor. So, I have been spending mucho time with my stepmom, immersed in Thirty-One Gifts events and happenings.
I will drive her half-way back home this Sunday. Perhaps after that I will be back en force.
After all, we've got a lot of catching up to do!
July 6, 2011
The Lost Weekend...
Over the July 4th holiday weekend, I "lost" myself in my basement, where my scrap area is set up. When the store where I worked closed last month, I purchased some slat wall and grid panels for "home organization". Well, with the kids mostly out and about over the weekend, that left The Hubs and me home to our own devices. And we planned a weekend of getting two areas organized: my scrap room and his tool room.
Now, one friend out there in cyberland is always telling me to take before and after photos. Well, I didn't take ANY photos of The Hubs tool room because a) he would have glared at me, b) I was busy fussing around in my scrap area and c) I actively chose not to because really... who wants to see a little 3-foot by 4-foot area of tools and dirty stuff? Not I! (Although I will say it looks pretty spiffy, even if he's not quite done yet.)
Then, because I got so busy fussing around in my own room, there were pieces I missed photographing, but I'll just fill that in with my words. For those of you who missed my scrap room renovation about a year or so ago, you may wish to start reading some of these other posts, just to see where it ALL truly originated:
The Beginning
Part Deux
The Finale
As with any true project, it's always in motion; always changing, adapting... re-organizing. Well, the slat wall was exciting because it gave me a new "space" to have organized.
As a reminder, for those not willing to bop around to the older posts... when I was done renovating the space in the basement, I had a blank wall in front of my scrappin' table... looked blank and blah and so uninspiring - see?
What a perfect blank canvas... perfect for a piece of slat wall? I think so too!
After The Hubs wounded me viciously (not really, but I like the guilt sometimes) by causing a "brace" of boards to fall over and crack me on the top of the foot, he had the lightbulb moment of using the TV trays to hold up the wall while he got things lined up with the studs in the walls.
And here is The Hubs in all his glory (yes, his face is still hidden, purposely), playing with power tools. I wish I could spell that animal-grunt that Tim-the-toolman-Taylor used to make from the TV show Home Improvement. Oh well, if you know what I'm talking about, imagine that here.
Okay... HERE IT IS! The slat wall UP! Doesn't it just give you shivers with its potential? A friend who also got slat wall texted me earlier in the weekend, "is it wrong 2 b turned on by a piece of slat wall hanging in my scrap room?" I laughed at the time... but here... here... I totally know what she meant!
Immediately, I started messing around with shelving. As short as I am and with the extended distance of needing to lean over the table, I knew the top of the slat wall would be inaccessible to me, so I figured it should just have inspirational knick knacks and goodies... let's test it out a little...
... oh yes, that is Tim Holtz in that frame up there. A friend of mine gave that to me as a birthday present this year. He's supposed to help trigger my scrapbook mojo!
As I was putzing around, it just was missing something. It was so..... white. White on a grey-blue wall. Bleah. Then I remembered....
Butterflies and lots of them! That helped. A lot! And yet, I still felt... it was...a little... lacking. So... I grabbed my color wash inks and start spritzing.
This is the last photo I took before I started putting things on the wall, but this wasn't the end of my spritzing. I messed with it for an entire afternoon and another almost whole day spraying it with a fixative because it wouldn't all dry completely. That was a conundrum to me. Some areas that looked wet were perfectly dry. Others looked dry and smudged immediately upon my touch. Regardless, I love the outcome, despite the headache.
And then the loading up and organization began...
Then this furry miss kitty came by, quite irritated that no one had a lap available, and then - horror of all horrors - when she got on my table, her bed was missing!
And toward the end, after moving and re-doing, here's what it looks like. Sorry for the darker pics... it was night time by then...
I LOVE IT!
I do believe I've been "found"!
July 5, 2011
SFTIO Anniversary Blog Hop!
source |
Hey y'all... I'm not a part of the official blog hop, but you may call me "director of traffic"... please feel free to hop on over to Melissa's Blog to read all about the blog hop going on for Scrapbooking from the Inside Out. Inside Out turned three this weekend and there are some prime, grade-A prizes if you join in the fun, hop around and leave a comment or two along the way...
Seriously.
I mean it!
Go.
Now!
*shakes head*
Sheesh! What's a girl gotta do to help give away some awesome scrappy goodies?!
July 4, 2011
Freedom
Happy Independence Day!
When I was a child, my ears were super sensitive. I didn't like parades, nor fireworks, because of it. The noise of the fire sirens and drums in the parade bands would reverberate inside my head until I wanted to cry (and often did). I remember my mom bringing me inside of a building during those times. Or, when I got older, I would plug my ears and wince and wait for it to finish, hoping it would as quickly as possible."It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more." ~ John Adams
The noise of close-by fireworks such as firecrackers or bottle rockets with their squeal made Independence Day festivities very unhappy for me. As I've gotten older, I've been able to tolerate the noise a bit better, although I prefer to be as far away from the "center" of the fireworks display as I can be. And it still does hurt my ears, but I deal with it now.
The visuals often make up for the pain of the sound...
...although a nice quiet evening grilling out with a movie after... perhaps Independence Day?... that would be more enjoyable, for me.
How do you like to spend your 4th of July (if you're American... if you're not American, how do you like to celebrate your favorite summer festivities)?
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