Tangling with Zen

Whew... the last two posts have been pretty heavy.  Let's lighten it up here at Enjoy the Ride Today! 

As we all know, I've been focusing on my health and my mind, but in all honestly, 2011 has brought me all kinds of creative moments as well.  This is very different for me, but in the spirit of my One Little Word: Movement... I have been really working toward spending a little time (or a lot of time) each week doing something creative... something not focused on food, or lifting weights, or activity, or cleaning out the cobwebs in my head.

One of those things is Zentangle.

My very first Zentangle

I have mentioned previously that I wanted to try it ever since Marit mentioned it on the SFTIO boards (thank you Marit), and I have asked Santa for the Zentangle kit two years in a row now for Christmas.  When I didn't get it this year, I used a gift card to purchase it for myself.  That's what gift cards are for, right?

So, what exactly is Zentangle, you ask?  Well, how about that... here I am to tell you! 

Zentangle is a piece of abstract art contained to a 3 1/2 inch square piece of art paper (although I don't doubt that they can be bigger or smaller).  It is a frame broken up into pieces by a string, and then you use the tangles to fill the pieces of the string.  Their motto is "anything is possible, one stroke at a time."

My second Zentangle

I will leave it up to them to explain the theory, but here are some pieces that call to me:

At first glance, a Zentangle can seem intricate and complicated. But, when you see how it is done, you realize how simple it is. When you create a Zentangle, you realize how fun and engrossing it is.

Doodling is hard for me!  So, I thought if they are telling me it's simple, I've got to try it, because I want to feel more free to doodle and add sketches to my cards, layouts and journals.

Just as you make a deliberate pen stroke on your Zentangle, that very act of putting your pen to paper focuses your attention in a way similar to meditation or being "in the zone." As your eye follows your pen strokes your attention shifts to a state that allows fresh thoughts, new perspectives, and creative insights to flow unhindered by anxiety or effort.

It really does put you in a focused state, and that's really very relaxing!

You always succeed when you do a Zentangle because you always create a pattern. A Zentangle has no up or down and is not a picture of something, so you have no worries about whether you can draw a hand, or a duck. You always succeed in creating a Zentangle.

I'll tell you what... the more things I can find success in, the better I am able to handle those setbacks, as I've been talking about.   I highly recommend this little art outlet.  Check out the gallery on the Zentangle site to see some amazing little pieces of art, including some from a seven-year old. 

My fourth Zentangle
No, you didn't miss it, I failed to photograph the 3rd.

Hey, if a seven year old can do it, I can, right?  In fact, I think I'll go start a new one now! 

Another Direction...

Oh my goodness... thank you, thank you, EVERYONE who shared thoughts, feelings and encouragement on my previous post.  Cheri was right, I should have shared earlier... and I am so glad I decided to share now.  I will certainly be coming back to post updates and really hope you will continue to cheer me on.  Everyone needs their own cheerleading team.

Because of all of this support, I wanted to share with you another aspect of my journey.  Anyone who has followed my blog for long knows I'm a loyal member, participant and cheerleader for Scrapbooking from the Inside Out. 

I love, love, love the concept of this group.  Scrapbooking shouldn't just be telling the stories of the people you love in your life, or the places you go, but you should also be able to tell the story of YOU.  I believe, too, that scrapbooks shouldn't just document the world through rose colored glasses.  Real life is what a scrapbook should portray.  Real life  includes the downs as well as the ups.  And that's where SFTIO comes in... they pick an emotion/concept each month and then explore it.  This month's emotion, actually, is vulnerability.  And man, oh man, did I feel vulnerable in posting yesterday's post.  Again, thank you all for your caring thoughts.  I appreciate your gentleness (is that a word?) as well as your support.

In addition to SFTIO, I follow the happenings on The Brave Girls Club to the extent that I receive their "daily truths".

Not every daily truth applies to me, and to be honest, because they come daily, there are many that even go unopened.  But I am amazed at how many that I do open are so very applicable to me in that moment.  It's a little freaky... but also very timely when they are applicable.

I am also fascinated by their Brave Girl Camps and how life-changing they seem to be for the women who attend.  I will never be able to afford a Brave Girl Camp so I was even more intrigued when I started to see advertisements for "Soul Restoration", a six-week online course for women seeking to find and be the "real you".  Well, we all know I've been on that journey for some time.  So I pondered, and thought and saved.  Around the time registration occurred, my husband got sick, and I was really worried about money.  I held off for a while but in a "low" moment when I was feeling particularly selfish, I registered and paid in full.  The class began in January, and we are currently on week five of the six week course.

It was here where I found the "Will I Be Pretty" video below, and the forums are just filled with all kinds of interesting sharing.  While I'm not yet comfortable with sharing any specific details or art from this journey, I will say it has been enlightening, and yes, somewhat life changing.  It certainly  has changed some of my "insides"... my mind, the way I think and feel about certain things and it has changed the way I approach scrapbooking and "creativity" in general.  And it has taken time and energy, so that is my excuse reason for not being around as often.  Forgive?

I will share some more, I promise, but for now, I just wanted to share that while I'm on this journey to make my "outsides" healthy, I'm also really working at making my "insides" healthy too. 

Yay 2011!

Fall Down 9 Times, Get Up 10...

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It's time.  I have been walking a journey in my own quiet way for over seven months now.  I'm ready to start sharing some parts of it.  For this piece, I had wanted to wait until I hit a certain personal goal before I shared, but after some months of set-backs, I thought perhaps I should post and perhaps that would bring me some more... I don't know... accountability?  Support?  Both?  Something else?

Back in June of last year, I wrote a pretty obscure post entitled Just One Thing.  Sometimes All of the time... just doing one thing to move you forward in life can be the biggest ripple-effect in your world.  Back in June, I made a decision to help myself move forward in an area where I have been wallowing in for decades.  Literally, decades.

I hired a personal fitness trainer and nutritionist (same person).

Back in June I thought that perhaps one or two "packages" (a packages is 10 one-hour sessions) would get me on the right path.  Since June, I have never stopped going.  The Trainer is my new (well-paid) babysitter.  My  new "best friend".  In fact, when I started talking about her, The Girl said to me, "Who's she?"  I said, "my new friend."  The Girl said, "How come I haven't met her?"  I replied, tongue in cheek (sort-of), "Because I don't pay her enough to come over here."

Okay, honesty time... I'm feeling extremely vulnerable in sharing this with you.  Why?  Because losing weight... the massive amount of weight I have to lose... is daunting, long-term and, well, because I have failed so, so many times before.  In fact, I'm in a place Right Now that has some lying voice in my head screaming FAILURE!

So, I'm here to try and quiet that voice.  Get rid of it completely I hope.  Because that little voice has had big power over me.  That little voice keeps me wallowing, stuck.  That little voice causes me to give up so very often.

This time, I'm not ready to let it win. 

I lost almost 25 pounds before The Hubs got sick.  I was two measly pounds away from that first "milestone".  It is an important milestone to me because I've never been able to break that mark in all of my journeys.  But life threw me that curveball with The Hubs' illness, and then a scrapbooking food fest retreat, and then the holidays.  As some curveballs do, I ended up striking out.  At first, for a few days.  Then for a few weeks.  That few weeks has turned into a few months.  I have gained six pounds back.

While dejected and feeling insecure and full of doubt, I have to still focus on the inches I have lost.  16 inches and counting.  No gain-backs... although there have been some "stay the same" times.  I have improved in my fitness assessments steadily and I have noticed so many differences in my daily life.  But I'm having such a hard time getting re-focused.  That little voice is taunting me.  I'm tired, I'm whiny and I'm coming up with too many excuses. 

But I know I'm still on the right path for me.  Because of that, I will do this anyway.  I will not give up.  I will work hard to afford The Trainer, and I will work hard when I'm at her house.   I must break this glass barrier... and the next one, and the next.  With her help (and now yours too) no matter how many times I fall down, I will get right back up and continue on...

Will I Be Pretty?

This slam poetry video was shared in a forum I frequent for this class that I am taking and I just was completely wow'd by it.  I wanted to share. 

Ice, Wind & Snow, Oh My!



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 On Monday, I kept hearing about this "monster storm" crossing the nation.  I didn't think much of it, because in all honesty, I feel the meteorologists tend to lean toward the melodramatic.  And, at least 50% of the time, they're wrong.

Then I saw the satellite image on Yahoo! weather.  Okay, NOW I started to feel like I might be an extra in the sequel for the movie "The Day After Tomorrow".  But still... no tension here.

Then I woke up yesterday morning to a sheet of ice covering everything.  If it wasn't so annoying, we would all have been laughing while The Boy, The Hubs and I tried to de-ice cars while slip-sliding down the driveway.  There was literally no way to get any leverage to give ice-scraping any power!  After assessing the situation, and caving to my wimpy-side, I asked my boss if I could work from home, to which she said yes.  I was so relieved.  I'm not the type of person who runs away from wintery weather, but ice is just not my cup of tea, especially since the huge ice storm we had here several years back when I woke to the "pop" and "crack" sounds of branches breaking off trees and the blue "lightning" of eletrical boxes blowing up.  Oh, that was awful and every time we have ice, my stress level zooms because that "trauma" comes back to haunt me.  If I recall, we were without power in my house for over 12 days, over Christmas.  It just wasn't good.

Before I fall in to that dark cavern, I just have to say... despite the dire predictions and despite the awful dumping of snow and ice elsewhere in the nation, including my sister's house in Chicago and potentially other sisters living in NY, we have been comparatively unscathed (knock on wood).  We have quite a few people without power all over central-Ohio, but not nearly the amount of ice and snow they were forecasting.  The ice we did have caused most of the power outages, and the scary gusty winds that blew through today have added to that damage, but really?  It wasn't The Day After Tomorrow kind of weather. 

For which, I'm utterly grateful.

I would have photos to share with you except I couldn't stand upright on the ice long enough to take any good shots and now it's all melted from the rain and wind.  Besides, when I wasn't spreading pet-friendly ice melt and chipping up ice, I was helping the dogs go up and down the ice covered steps to do their own business.  It's not easy watching your 11-year old dog wipe out as he runs up the steps.  Poor ol' guy... although I think he was more hurt in his pride than any physical bruising he suffered. 

Now, thanks to Punxsatawney Phil, spring is coming "early".  Hang on a little longer and get excited... only six more weeks of winter, people. 

(Uh... isn't that NORMALLY when spring comes?)